RosterWatch Computer Love

RosterWatch Computer Love
Byron Lambert, Rosterwatch.com
Computer Love

We recently welcomed a new member to the RosterWatch team. He is the yin to the Trashman’s yang. A real sight for sore eyes around here. He is, The RosterWatch Computer.

Those who listen to the national show on Sirus/XM have become fond of his charming robotic ways over the last few weeks. As his surrogate family, we’ve realized it’s time to introduce him into the rest of human world. He is ready.

While he appears to be an emotionless construction of artificial pathways and neurons. He is actually a being with capabilities far beyond the sum of his parts. Simply put, The Computer is an evolutionary form of fantasy football intelligence superior to any we have ever known. He is a soulless inanimate object, yet- he has developed human-like emotions for fantasy football stars.

Most importantly, he has learned to love.

He loves American Football, and he loves wide receivers. He is a self-admitted diva himself, however he is kind of enough to share his Wide Receiver Love with us every week. We encourage you to heed is advice, because he’s a robot genius. Unless you make sandwiches at Jimmy John’s, chances are he is much smarter than you.

Week 11 Computer Love:

DeSean Jackson, WR Philadelphia Eagles

He is The Computer’s #2 overall receiver this week, significantly behind Megatron at #1 (The Computer has a pre-existing friendship w/ Megatron from a very distant and advanced civilization). All aspects of Jackson’s statistical outputs are well above average, as he edges out more notable studs such as Brandon Marshall, Andre Johnson, and AJ Green for the Computer’s love this week.

Antonio Brown, WR Pittsburgh Steelers

It’s hard to believe The Computer could love someone with an 8.6 point median so much. Maybe, he’s also developed the ability to overlook imperfection. Further humanizing himself day by day in this wasteland he considers earth. He has told us in the past he’s got a penchant for target monsters who aren’t touchdown dependent with great matchups. That must be the case this week with Antonio Brown.

Pierre Garcon, WR Washington Redskins
If another more superior supercomputer were to invade Earth and attempt to capture Antonio Brown, The RosterWatch Computer has told us that Pierre Garcon’s fantasy DNA is closest to Brown’s- and rates him as the #7 overall fantasy receiver for Week 11. The truth is, there are no superior computers within 150 light years of us, and all projections show that Antonio Brown will remain here on Earth for the foreseeable future. The Computer says you should deploy both of them in Salary Cap Leagues.

Alshon Jeffery, WR Chicago Bears
The Computer is a big fan of Brandon Marshall, but he says Marshall’s less heralded teammate has closed the gap. If you are looking for genius robotic advice that is precise as an atomic clock- then heed these words. Alshon Jeffery will be a Top 10 fantasy wide receiver in Week 11.

Riley Cooper, WR Philadelphia Eagles

The computer had to recalibrate his calculations for Riley Cooper based on the quarterback change that has taken place in Philly over the last month. With Nick Foles operating the controls, he says Riley Cooper remains a WR1 in 12 team leagues for Week 11. The Computer’s outputs do issue an alert that Cooper does have the highest “bust” ratios of all other WR1’s this week.

Jerricho Cotchery, WR Pittsburgh Steelers
His inputs continue to impress the computer. His statistical profile on whole is above average. The Computer says that Cotchery should match his relative output on the season, and projects to be a WR2 in Week 11. Indicators show his likely outcomes range anywhere from a high end WR2 to a low end WR3. Projections within one or two standard deviations from the Computer’s median projections peg Cotchery most probable to finish as a low-end WR2 in Week 11.

Leave a Reply